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My work has gravitated me towards people who feel vulnerable, insecure and abandoned, either through a relationship breaking down or because of things that have happened to them as a child when they were uanble to fight back, or even talk back.
As an Integrative Psychotherapist I believe that who we are and how we are in the world is shaped by our ongoing experiences. Likewise what we believe about ourselves and other and the way that we understand things will be heavily influenced by the beliefs we developed at a very young age.
As a child we spend our times busily learning about ourselves through play and interaction with other children. Our learning and subsequent beliefs will be shaped by significant people in our lives (ie teachers, parents, best friends etc), along with life events - the mundane day to day activities as well as major events and milestones.
We often learn as a child through, being told, peer pressure or our own observations of 'how to behave' in the world if we are to be 'accepted' and quickly learn what not to do in front of friends, family etc in view of the negative feedback we receive. This could include shutting down our feelings, altering the way we behave, changing the way we speak. We want to 'fit in' and be accepted and we learn how to behave in ways that as a adult we would not do.
As a adult, these learnt behaviours can restrict us and prevent us from living a fulfilling life. They have an impact on our relationships as well as our self esteem. Psychotherapy can help to unravel some of these beliefs and develop a healthy curiosity, and then question the appropriateness and relevance of these beliefs in our lives as adults.